Episode 3: A New Life! Ten's New Job!
TEN is worried because WAYV isn’t making any money since, God bless our souls, LUCAS was put in the basement. He’s really upset because LUCAS was his bff (he lit LUCAS’ ciggys for him) and he’s really resentful of TAEYONG because he has the power to stop all of this but he doesn’t do anything. But, he doesn’t want to leave NCT because in the event WAYV comes back he wants to make a lot of cash, so now he’s looking for a new business venture. He Googled and he found ideas. The first one was an Etsy shop, he sold his own NCT merch (flutes) but it didn’t sell very well because the instruments were broken. After that, he tried making his own sprinkles but that failed because he got a letter from the FDA telling him he wasn’t allowed to sell the food anymore because it wasn’t government approved, so his shop got shut down for health reasons. Then, he tried to write a book, but that failed because he doesn’t know how to read. Then, he tried to make his own music, but he realized that he can’t write music, he can just sing. So, TEN went and asked YANGYANG for help since unlike him, YANGYANG had musical talent.
YANGYANG was so good at music because, as a kid, he was an orphan who made all his money from playing piano at bars. One rainy night, DADDY SM saw the homeless kid down on his luck by a taco stand. YANGYANG had a love for Mexican food and it is said that despite not being a part of NCT DREAM he influenced the production of Hot Sauce. DADDY SM decided to adopt YANGYANG out of pity. At first, DADDY SM just wanted to have YANGYANG live with the rest of NCT, but upon finding out YANGYANG had musical talent he realized he would not have to sell him into slavery and could just enslave him himself. So, he made YANGYANG dance and sing like a little monkey.
TEN talks to YANGYANG who is reading a book (because unlike TEN, YANGYANG is literate).
TEN: YANGYANG, I’m really worried about the future of WAYV. I mean, we just got rid of LUCAS, what’s going to happen to us? Will we ever release music again?
YANGYANG: Truth be told, I’ve been thinking about that too. I’ve been honestly thinking about leaving NCT, I mean, the group is going to fall apart now, right?
TEN: Quitting NCT? How could you say that? After everything DADDY SM has done for you?
YANGYANG: I know, but it feels kind of exploitative. As if he can hold it over my head and I’m not allowed to say anything.
TEN: DADDY SM? Being exploitative? Nahhh.
YANGYANG: Haha... I guess you’re right... Anyway, why are you asking me this?
TEN: Well, I wanted to start a band together. You can do the music and I can be the singer.
YANGYANG: But we’re already in NCT, won’t DADDY SM get mad at us?
TEN: Well, DADDY SM doesn’t have to know. It’ll just be us. We’ll call it... "not NCT"... I’m still working on the name. We’ll have stage names, you’ll be YingYang and i’ll be Nine.
YANGYANG: ...Eight?
TEN: ...S-Seven?
YANGYANG: Okay, shut the fuck up. Sorry, but I’m not comfortable doing this, I think you should find some other way to make money. How about a lemonade stand?
TEN: I don’t know what lemonade is. But I know what hot sauce is. Can I do a hot sauce stand?
YANGYANG: No. You can’t.
TEN accepts this and he goes back to his room. He goes back to Google (since he can’t read, it’s a special form of google that DADDY SM so selflessly designed that beams the information right into your brain) and searches how to get rich tips and he finds an article that says “if you are a hot woman with big tits and big ass, start an OnlyFans.” TEN thinks about this. It would be bad if NCT found out because he would definitely be kicked out for defiling his virgin image, but it also wouldn’t work because he isn’t a woman. He’s sure there’s men in OnlyFans but they’re probably not raking in the cash the women are (#mensuffertoo #mensrights #misandryreal). But then TEN gets an idea: there’s an Alice in Wonderland cosplay outfit in his closet that he uses for little nights on Wednesdays. If he wore that outfit and styled his hair and wore makeup, then he would look like a girl. The next day TEN throws on the dress, does his hair and puts on make up. He opens an OnlyFans account and calls it 10 because he needs people to not know it’s him and also because he can’t read (he can only read binary). His first post is a picture of him showing his thigh highs with the caption “I’m so quirky!!! ;)” He doesn’t expect to get a lot of traction because he’s a brand new account and he has nowhere to promote it, so he’s surprised when the next day he realizes he got a shit ton of new followers. It turns out this account on Twitter with a million followers promoted him saying he was “the best account on OnlyFans.” The guy’s twitter handle is just “liu” and TEN doesn’t know who that is. The person had an anime profile picture (it looked like Naruto) but TEN supposed it didn’t matter. Since he now has a lot of followers he decides to up the ante. He decides to post more provocative images. No longer is he doing panty shots, but panty slips. No longer was he doing feet shots with socks but feet shots with socks off. He posts pictures of his bulge (for a genderbend event). He had truly convinced everyone he was a woman and was now making mad cash. He was getting comments like “STEP ON ME MOMMY!! I LOVE YOUR FEET MOMMY!!!” You’d think this would disturb him, but it didn’t. He was just impressed that he had fooled everybody and that he passed so well as a girl (he hopes this doesn't awaken anything in him). He was making 500 dollars a month, which while not crazy was very impressive, considering he had only been around for a week. Soon, he began to forget about his worries about WAYV. In fact, he began to forget about LUCAS too. Maybe it was some sort of trauma response, but he even started to believe the stories DADDY SM told them; that if you break into the basement at night and look at LUCAS in the eyes he will turn you to stone, that if LUCAS bites your neck he will suck out your blood, that he’s allergic to sunlight and that he can’t go inside your house unless invited. TEN began to phase out LUCAS, it was almost like he never had a best friend in the first place. TEN thinks they might be confusing LUCAS for something else, but DADDY SM would never lie to them, right? Since the character he cosplays is Alice in Wonderland, a character who is traditionally very young, some of his fans began to wonder if his name meant something else... but I’m not going to get into that because that is bordering on FBI at my doorstep territory. TEN became really distant from the rest of NCT. But to be fair, NCT members aren’t very close to each other to begin with. In fact, half of them might hate each other. All that mattered to TEN now was this new side gig.
One day, while TEN is getting ready and he’s about to film his first ever video, the door opens. While he can hide his phone in time there’s no way he can undress in time, so the person at the door sees him in his Alice cosplay and it is... YANGYANG.
YANGYANG: What the fuck are you doing, TEN?
TEN: Uhhh I... was getting ready for little night! It’s Wednesday.
YANGYANG: It’s Tuesday.
TEN: Uhh... daylight savings? it’s technically Wednesday.
YANGYANG: That’s not how daylight savings work.
TEN: Leap year? It’s leap year.
YANGYANG: Cut the shit, why are you actually dressed up like that?
TEN: Well... I... like to be pretty sometimes! Is that such a crime? I just like to dress like this some days. No, this will not awaken anything in me.
YANGYANG takes a step closer and he realizes (he must be blind because he should have realized it instantly)...
YANGYANG: Oh my god. Are you 10 from OnlyFans?
TEN: Well... I... Actually, now that you say it out loud it’s pretty obvious. But how do you know that? Don’t tell me you’re subscribed to me.
YANGYANG: I am! And I just promoted you to a bunch of people on Twitter!
TEN: Oh my god... are you liu? from Twitter?
YANGYANG: Yeah? That’s my first fucking name? I thought it was obvious, we’ve known each other for years, how do you not know this? See, you’re just like LUCAS, this is what happens when you spend time with him. I’m going to report this to DADDY SM.
TEN panics because at this point he has forgotten about his past friendship with LUCAS (it can only come back to him as a trauma response). He only sees LUCAS as the bed time stories DADDY SM tells them. He’s afraid if YANGYANG tells DADDY SM, he’ll be put in the basement with LUCAS. He doesn’t want to turn to stone or be allergic to sunlight or be bitten and turned into a LUCAS or have to turn into a wolf everytime he looks at the moon (also happens when you turn into a LUCAS).
TEN: Please don’t tell DADDY SM!
YANGYANG: I’m sorry TEN, but I have to. You’re pretending to be a girl online. You’re tricking all these straight men and giving them boners. You’re tricking the lesbians too, think of the gay women, TEN!
TEN: This sounds kind of transphobic.
YANGYANG: Well, are you trans, TEN?
TEN: Well... no.
YANGYANG: See? You’re tricking the trans community too. For shame. I’m going to tell DADDY SM.
TEN: No, stop, I’ll do whatever you want! Do I have to become a girl so that I’m not tricking those people?
YANGYANG: No, that’s fucked up... I wouldn’t do that to you.
TEN: Oh, thanks bro.
YANGYANG: No problem. I’m still telling DADDY SM the whole whoring yourself out thing.
TEN gets on his knees.
TEN: Pleaaaase don’t tell DADDY SM! You can tell anyone in NCT, just not DADDY SM. I’ll do anything.
YANGYANG, sighing: Fine. I will not tell DADDY SM on one condition.
TEN: What is it? I’ll do anything. I’ll even suck your dick.
YANGYANG: Uh... that’s not what I was going to ask. Can you do a collab with someone?
TEN: A collab? With who?
YANGYANG: You’re not the only one in NCT doing OnlyFans.
TEN: Really? Who else? I saw you promoting another account on Twitter but I don’t know who it is. Their name is LoseLose?
YANGYANG: TEN, use your fucking brain, it’s obviously WINWIN. Duhhh.
TEN: Oh. I guess that makes sense. But, isn’t LoseLose a computer virus?
YANGYANG: computer virus, sex virus, I’m sure WINWIN has both. I want you to collab with him. He’s also really good at OnlyFans and I’m following him.
TEN: So, you’re not mad at me because I’m actually a boy?
YANGYANG: Oh, no, not really, I’m mad for all my straight homies out there. But I’m bisexual.
TEN: Oh. Love fucking wins. Sure, I’ll collab with him but let me look at his profile first, I’ve never seen it before... Hey, how much money are you spending on this app?
YANGYANG: Let’s just say... I know the code to DADDY SM’s safe.
TEN and YANGYANG sit down on the bed together and YANGYANG pulls out his phone. He shows TEN LoseLose’s OnlyFans. As it turns out, WINWIN has also been using his costume from little night. He’s dressed up as Cinderella on his OnlyFans, except he’s transparent about the fact that he’s crossdressing and calls himself a femboy. (Fun fact: WINWIN was the one who invented the cosplay aspect of little nights. He wanted them to cosplay as Disney princesses because he’s obsessed with Cinderella). TEN saw WINWIN’s profile and he saw the kinds of things he posted, such as inserting a pumpkin shaped you-know-what into his you-know-where. TEN wishes he could unsee that, but per YANGYANG’s wishes, he must collab with WINWIN and hope he gets his end of the bargain. WINWIN is informed immediately and he’s excited to learn that someone in NCT, in WAYV no less, is also doing OnlyFans. He eagerly agrees to a collab.
WINWIN: Oh my God! I’m so excited! This is going to be awesome. I’ve always seen Cinderella as a lesbian, so this makes perfect sense.
TEN: You’re insufferable sometimes but you’re kind of cute in this outfit.
YANGYANG: Heart to heart, bro to bro. Are you really straight, TEN?
TEN: You’re making me think about words that I’ve never read in the dictionary because I can’t read. So don’t ask me that.
YANGYANG: Yeah, sorry. Overstepped a boundary there.
They do their collab and it’s just sexy thirst trapping, nothing explicit. But they have a really fun time doing it.
TEN: You know, I wouldn’t mind doing this again some time.
WINWIN: Me too! You’re very cute in that outfit. You’re the coachman to my carriage.
TEN: Is this how you speak all the time?
WINWIN: More or less.
YANGYANG: That was so awesome. I got to see two of my favorite OnlyFans creators collab.
TEN: Aw, we’re your favorite?
YANGYANG: Yes :) by the way TEN, about what you said the other day...
TEN: The hot sauce thing? You want to open a hot sauce stand with me?
YANGYANG: No. I meant the band thing. I could do the music and you and WINWIN can do the dance and vocals.
TEN: That would be a great idea! But can we do it on OnlyFans or do we have to do it on TikTok?
WINWIN: No, we shouldn’t do TikTok, I’ve tried it and it’s super toxic there and you get paid in pennies. Besides, I think OnlyFans would appreciate some musical variety.
From then on, they made a band called “The Three Screaming zgays.” consisting of YingYang, LoseLose and 10. YingYang made the music while LoseLose and 10 sang and danced sexily. Right now nobody else in NCT knows of their side gig, and that’s fine. TEN thinks that maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if other NCT members found out, maybe they’d even get more members to join their band. However, if more people joined their band they would no longer be The Three Screaming Gays and they already have a patent pending. So, maybe for the sake of the brand it’s best that they stay unknown.